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Denying yourself pleasure (or causing yourself pain) has little to do with caring about the pleasure or pain of others.In fact, it can be distracting, creating a false sense of virtue when none is actually merited.To survive and thrive, we need to get along with each other. We no longer think of a woman’s womb as an economic asset belonging to first her father and then her husband. Women who can’t get pregnant eat mandrake roots, like in Harry Potter.Maybe in the Iron Age sex without a legal contract risked real damage to social structures that helped people survive in the fragile desert environment of the Ancient Near East. We also have far better options for preventing pregnancy—abstinence sure, if you like, but also condoms and Pills, and even IUDs and implants that effectively flip the fertility switch to “off” till you want it on. A guy gets his descendants permanently cursed by seeing the dick of his passed-out-drunk father.One reason is that the Bible never says that a woman’s consent is needed—or desired—before sex.In fact, like many ancient myths, the Bible accepts and even condones nonconsensual sex.Even if you are secular you likely have been infected with noxious ideas that come straight from the Ancient Near East and Medieval Europe by way of the Catholic Church or derivative Protestant sects.
We have absolutely no reason to believe that men who don’t have sex are more compassionate, or smarter, or wiser than other men; or more kind or curious or discerning; or more devoted to love and truth (the two virtues most esteemed in the Bible).
But the sex rules in the Bible were designed for a technologically-primitive society that no longer exists. Sex nasty when you’re not into it (and sometimes even when you are), and the people who made up the sex rules for the Church lacked access to modern hygiene, so it was even more slimy back then. Dragonfly or grub, lollypop or licked lollypop, gum or chewed gum. It sure doesn’t communicate what I want to say to mine: —far too small to define us. The Garfunkel and Oat song about Catholic virginity, “God’s Loophole,” may be funny, but for generations the cult of female virginity has devastated lives.