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The common thread with the long-distance couples I spoke with was that they had an end in sight, during which time they knew they would be in the same place.
Jeffrey says, “ A deadline is absolutely essential for a long distance relationship.” About three to six months into their relationship, he and Vanessa talked about what they would do if things worked out. He says, “I would say that the long-distance piece should be no more than a year until one person moves to the other person’s city, or as Vanessa and I did, both move to a brand-new city.” He adds that the joint move has been helpful since they are both in a new environment and exploring a new place together.
They're glad they took the risk to pursue each other, despite the distance.
Here's how they made it work: They Scheduled Regular Visits Scheduling regular visits, based on how much their schedules and bank accounts could handle, was a key factor in building a solid relationship for the couples I interviewed."Air miles are your best friend," according to Judy, who dated her partner while she was in New Jersey and her girlfriend was in Vancouver, Canada.
Tip: No need to bring up this topic in the first week, but if you're in a routine where you are exclusive and looking forward, it's appropriate to put the "Would you move? If neither of you would consider relocating, you may need to re-evaluate if this is a relationship you want to pursue over the long-term.
Jeffrey admits, "If it was 20 years ago, I don't know if just phone calls would have made it possible (for us to feel) as connected."Tip: If you don't have time for a long involved conversation over the phone or computer, consider sending a quick video message, instead of a voicemail, to let your partner know you're thinking about him or her.
They Had an End in Sight Dating across the country indefinitely can get taxing and it's easy to lose the momentum to keep building your relationship.
I've always said that if you want to find success in love you have to get out of your comfort zone.
It turns out, sometimes this means getting outside of your time zone too.They Relied on Tech Until recently, people had to save money to call their long-distance lovers and would wait for written letters to arrive in the mail.