Dating site horror stories anal
I decided I was over it and told him I had to leave. Turns out a piece of hot dog was completely blocking my oesophagus (luckily, past my lungs, so I could still breath).
I excuse myself to a nearby bathroom and attempt to hack it up for about 5 minutes, and then I started coughing blood.
But then again, there’s the bombardment of unwanted peen pics and tales of stage 5 clingers and batshit crazies that’ll make you wanna douse your phone in holy water and swear off dating for life. Met up a few days later at my place to have a TV marathon. (It had been quite a few months since I had last had the sexy time). '” “Not exactly my worst, but potentially most confounding. I listened sympathetically as he told me how he ‘regularly produced massive stools’ due to him being a vegetarian, making tears in his ‘tiny anus,’ which he had to put cream on. ” “Girl told me she was 21 before the date and then about 5 mins in I realise she’s actually 16…
Below we’ve pulled together some of the more disturbing Tinder tales that are simultaneously hilarious, cringe-worthy and creepy AF. “Showed up to the date and the girl was pregnant, VERY pregnant. I thought he was trying to kiss me again, but I looked down, and he was peeing on me. I swiftly, being too inebriated to drive, went and got myself a hotel room and a hot shower. that date didn’t last long.” “I’m slightly on the large side, and I don’t try to hide it.
It’s both a blessing and a curse on the dating world. I ended up flipping him over and jumping on top until I was done. He kept trying to meet up again even after I said I wasn’t interested. I was honestly just amazed that someone had actually done this, and that I was witnessing it.
On the one hand, what better way to have a quick hook-up/bang/chat with people you wouldn’t otherwise meet in #reallyfe. He finally got it when he messaged asking what he did wrong and my reply was ‘YOU HUMPED MY FEET!!! It was one of those things that I’ve heard stories about from friends, but never actually experienced. She mentioned facts about me as if she was the one I was messaging, so who knows. Met up with some friends.” “I went on a date with a guy from Tinder and as we were eating, he told me about his visit to the doctor that day…
We drank and watched sports, he proceeded to tell me ‘You’re cute’ and this eventually went to ‘I am going to make you bleed.’ He then invited one of his friends to come along. Then I started getting calls from this girl, who he claimed was his crazy roommate that was in love with him and kept trying to get him fired from jobs.
Turns out, she wasn’t the one lying, she was actually his live-in girlfriend, and they had moved here together from a different state.
Go to his place and he was super handsy and sucked at kissing. I have no desire to get it back.” “He told me he was in love with another woman – his mother – and I would have to ‘overcome’ her to prove myself to him.” “En route to the Worst Date Ever, this guy texted me from the burrito place we were meeting, to tell me he’d already ordered me the salad. We’re eating, and everything is going great, and then I feel something get stuck in my throat.
Like holy crap how did you get here on your own, should I be worried about your water breaking any minute pregnant… So I was talking to a nice guy on Tinder and we hit it off straight away.